Preface
If we could sell our experiences for what they cost us, we’d be millionaires.
Abigail Van Buren
The Quotable Woman, p. 133
Corrine Jacobson and her husband, Phil, were both healthy 66-year-olds, packing for a trip to Seattle and Lake Tahoe, when he died unexpectedly. Instead of boarding an airplane, in a matter of days, Corrine was seated in a hearse en route to the cemetery.
During the first 48 hours following her husband’s death, Corrine had gathered her children and stepchildren from cities around the country and summoned one relative home from France. Unfortunately, her rabbi was out of town, so a clergyman she did not know very well officiated at the funeral. Her friends brought platters of food to her home, although Corrine had no appetite.
After 22 years of marriage, all of a sudden, without preparation, Corrine had to embark on a new life. How to proceed? Frankly, it was by trial and error. “Nobody told me what to do,” she recalled. She was faced with an obituary to write, medical bills to pay, insurance policies to read, an estate to settle, and legal procedures to deal with. During her career as a businesswoman, Corrine had run a $7 million-a-year company; she had raised two children and three stepchildren; she had been a Sunday school superintendent and a community volunteer. None of those experiences had prepared her for the road ahead.
Fortunately, Corrine is an organized person with an administrative and managerial background. She began creating file folders for each task that lay before her and for each professional she was advised to contact—from stockbrokers to Social Security administrators. Corrine’s close friend, Rose Rubin, observed how methodically Corrine went about each task. She also noted how cathartic it was for Corrine to handle the estate herself. Rose, who is an economics professor and published writer, suggested they collaborate on a manual to be titled, A Handbook for Widows, a book that would help anyone who lost a spouse.
If you are reading this manual, then you are likely to be a widow—or perhaps a widower. You need to realize this is a condition that cannot be reversed. Facing reality is your first step. What do you do? How do you handle this new and different status? We all need practical advice. This is a book with practical, positive, and constructive ways to handle yourself at this difficult time. This manual will aid you in finding the help you now need to make new decisions and to face the enormous task of developing a new life style.
It is Corrine and Rose’s belief that, by living your own life in a positive and constructive way, you will gradually work through the many challenges of your spouse’s death in the manner best suited to yourself. If you read this book, you won’t encounter as many surprises or roadblocks in the months after your spouse passes away. You won’t have to figure out everything as you go along. This book can become your guide.